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Do you ever have times when you get pretty down on yourself? You doubt your ability, you start to believe lies about yourself. I know I do every once in awhile. Below is what I remind myself of when it happens, and thankfully, the more I remind myself and stay in Scripture, the less it happens.

Almost a year ago I read Vicki Kuyper”s book Wonderlust. One of the chapters talked about her taking the epic hike to Machu Picchu. She felt very self conscious about her ability to keep pace with the team, she ended up always being the last one. In her effort to try and keep pace with the others, she was starting to lose strength, courage to keep going and confidence in her ability to accomplish the task.

I can’t help but compare myself to others. One of my main strength’s is competition and significance. It’s part of who I am, it helps me be great at certain things, but it also haunts me on many occasions. My focus can easily change to trying to be someone else, striving hard to do what they do. I end up doing things that don’t come naturally to me, which then of course don’t have the results I was hoping for which then cause me to doubt who I am, and ultimately & indirectly doubt who God made me.

Ouch! Did you catch that? I end up telling God, indirectly, but He hears it loud and clear, “You messed up God, I’m missing something, I’m not that good, I can’t accomplish the passions you’ve given me, so somehow you screwed up.”

I’ve come to realize there are 2 truths that I need to remind myself of when I start to believe this lie.

1. Be Patient.

If there is one thing I consistently struggle at it is patience. When it comes to my life direction and goals, my lack of patience is almost always a direct result of me comparing myself to others. My impatience, and lack of thankfulness, almost always comes when I start to compare finances, ministry reach, fame, authors who write so incredibly well, dads who are super creative, etc, etc. (whatever it may be for you)

Vicky, in her book Wonderlust finishes her Machu Picchu story by sharing that when she was about to quit the trek her guide, Manolo, walked back down to her and said, ” You have been working so hard trying to keep up with everyone else. You’ve pushed yourself to walk at their pace and not your own. Right now you need to learn the walk of the patient one. It isn’t called this because others have to be patient with you. It’s because you have to learn to be patient with yourself. It’s not about being first, it’s about enjoying the journey. It will feel slow at first, but you will keep moving forward and you will regain your strength.” I appreciate the advice Manolo.

2. You Really Can’t & Believe and have Faith That God Can Through You

Most of us know the truth that we really can’t accomplish the God given passions without God. Yet, at least for me, we still try and do it on our own. We get impatient, forge ahead and then complain when it doesn’t work out. Beth Moore (yup, I’m an interim womens Pastor too) reminded me of an interesting truth the other day. She said,(with my paraphrase) “the Israelites “sin” when they wandered in the dessert wasn’t that they didn’t believe God could do miracles. They saw Him do it every day. Mana in the morning, quail at night, water gushing out of a rock, walking across the bottom of a great sea, pillar of smoke and fire, etc, etc. Their sin was that they didn’t believe God could work through them as they entered the promised land.” They were afraid of the giants that God said they were suppose to conquer, because they didn’t believe He would and could through them.

So after I calm down, after I stop sending indirect and subtle outbursts to God, after I stop questioning His plan and purpose I’m thankfully still  left with a small voice in my head reminding me yet again of the plans and purposes He has for me. I’m also convicted and realize yet again, my need for forgiveness. So, I’m still learning to believe, have faith the He can, will and, incredibly, even wants to accomplish His plan through me. So here I sit, still working on patience, and believing in His promise to accomplish through me….how humbling

Malcolm Gladwell is by far one of my favorite authors. He recently released his new book, What the Dog Saw.

Besides being a very insightful researcher and author, he is also one of the few authors to have all four of his books on the Best Seller list. Incredible considering his first book came out over 9 years ago.

As a speaker he is just as insightful. C-Span recently did an hour long interview with him. So, if you have some time and like Gladwell, you will enjoy the interview.

Read time: 15 min’s

You’ve probably seen Criss Angel walking on water illusion. What however can we learn from someone who actually did walk on water?  This is a recap of me struggling to hear God’s voice, hearing it, and being profoundly challenged and spoken to. I trust that there is something He would have for you as well.

Do you ever really stress about making the “right” decision about something? Not the kind of decision where you know God doesn’t have a preference for you. This is the kind of decision where you know that God does have a preference and you just can’t quite nail down what it is.  This was me the night before and morning of a conference I recently attended. It wasn’t a huge decision, but I knew there was one “perfect” choice God wanted me to make. You see, I had to choose which seminar i was going to attend. That’s it, nothing crazy, nothing extravagant, just choose one seminar from 5 choices.

I had it nailed down to two choices that I assumed/felt I should take.

• Option 1 was a great place to network with great church leaders and innovators
• Option 2 was a great environment to interact with missional church leaders doing “church” a little differently.
• Option 3 close my eyes, spin around, point at a door and enter. (not my favorite)

So, with the hallways empty, everyone had entered their chosen seminar and I still had no peace. I did the most rationale thing I could think of. Walk into each room and see if it “felt” right. I started walking toward option #1, and knew before I got to the door it was wrong. Walked to option #2, stepped inside, nope felt wrong.  Feeling frustrated, and still praying why God just won’t tell me where to go, I opened my brochure and looked at the faces of the seminar presenters, saw a smiling face and said, “I like his face, I’m going to go listen to him.” That guy was Herbert Cooper, and God used him to speak to me, challenge me, and allow me to be utterly overwhelmed by the Spirit. It was incredible, as Herbert started talking, I was awash in emotion and knew I was where He would have me. I wanted to share my notes from that seminar, trusting that He as something for you as well.

NOTES: 5 Lessons About Getting Out of the Boat

“Get out of the boat. Peter was a change maker”

Read Matthew 14:25-33 first.

1. Don’t be influenced by the crowd. Listen to Christ’s voice and not the crowds voice. The bible says all the disciples were afraid and fearful. You can just imagine the disciples saying, “don’t do it. you can’t”.  Are there people in your life saying similar things? Yet Christ says, ”Peter, get out of the boat”. You can’t worry about being popular. The crowds live in he boat. Leaders are outside of the boat. Leadership can be lonely, because the crowds aren’t ouside the boat. Be a water walker.
2. It requires radical faith to step out of the boat. If you’re going to get out of the boat it will require radical faith. Imagine this: It was night time, waves , dark and they see someone walking on the water. Scripture says the disciples were scared. They thought it was a ghost an apparition, spirit coming towards them. Peter says, “if it’s you Lord tell me to come.” Peter recognizes Christ’s voice and gets out of the boat. Radical faith is developed through radical relationship with Jesus Christ. What calls Peter to get out of the boat? Jesus did, and Peter knew and recognized his voice and obeyed immediately.

• As leaders, followers of Christ, we can’t afford to be lukewarm, distant from God. As leaders, or stronger people of faith, we don’t usually struggle with good decision vs. bad decisions. No, more often than not, as leaders we struggle with good decisions and good decision. Distinguishing between two good decisions is to know Jesus voice. To have a radical faith.

Sub Point: 3 keys to develop a radical relationship with Jesus Christ.

• Pray. Are you spending consistent, intentional time praying, talking to, hearing God’s voice. This takes time. There is no way around this, you need to take time to pray and that means you need to sacrifice something else to do it. For me that means less tv or activities in the evening so that I can get up earlier to spend time in prayer.
• Read and memorize the bible. Honestly, this is very hard for me. If anyone has a good way of doing this please let me know. Again, this takes consistent time and reflection. I have never done this well, but am starting and trying to intentionally do this. Psalm 119:11. Matt 4:4-10 (interesting that the devil knows the word and twists it)
• Be consistent with reading your bible and participating in the church community. Spend time in His word and spend time in community with other believers.  I mention both because its easy to think you dont need the church if you are in the word or vice versa. I often see people, and myself choose one over the other. The reality is we need both. We have to know His voice. that is he key.

3.  Realize there will be trouble. When we venture out, their will be trouble. Peter has just heard the voice of Jesus takes some steps and starts to sink. You can hear Jesus voice, be In His will and still have trouble. Trouble is just part of venturing out and starting something new.

4.   Remember to quickly refocus on Jesus. As soon as Peter “begins” to sink Peter calls out to Jesus. As soon you face adversity quickly refocus on Jesus. Just like Peter, it usually doesn’t work out just like you think it will. Just like Peter get your eyes off of people and refocus on Jesus.

5.   Recognize that miracles happen outside the boat! The only way Peter could experienced the miracle was that he had to get out of the boat. Notice that the other disciples got to rejoice, got to be excited, and share in the miracle, but they never got to walk on water by themselves. Miracles happen outside the boat.

My hope is that you will take the necessary steps to deepen your walk with Christ. To have a radical faith so that you can hear His voice clearly. So that choosing between two good choices is not difficult because you hear and recognize His voice clearly. I pray that when He calls that we would both step boldly out of the boat. That when we begin to sink, we would refocus quickly on His face. That we would not look to the crowd, but instead Jesus Christ in all we do so that He may be glorified, lifted up and given all glory on heaven and earth. Where is He calling you to step out of the boat….?

Loving the journey…

So yesterday I wrote about my one sentence mission. Or my “OSM.” I recommend you take the time to create one for yourself. It’s hard, takes time and yes it can change over time. For me, at least, it brings clarity to the here and now.

Often people have asked me, “Where do I start.”  Here are my thoughts based on my own journey. I have divided this post into 3 parts.

A – The 4 simple steps I used

B – Further/deeper explanation of the steps

C – Example of the Stephen Covey Mission Statement tool. I copied my results as the example.

Part A

4 steps to creating your own one sentence descriptor (further explanation below)

(If you’re in a rush, just do step #3 as a starting point)

1. Know your strengths. Take a personality assessment. (Read about my thoughts on StrengthFinder here)

2. Write down any and all your thoughts about this topic concerning you.

3. Use a tool like Stephen Covey’s Mission Statement Builder as a good starting point.. (See my results below)

4. Craft, Reshape, Edit, Finalize, and do it over again.

Part B

Further Explanation on the 4 Steps

1. I find that personality profiles didn’t actually help me in creating my one sentence mission. However they were and continue to be a great creative starting point and reference tool. Your profile helps to explain the “how” you will achieve your OSM.

2. I can’t emphasize this enough. For me this process took a long time. Mostly because I was never satisfied with my results and I actually never took enough focused time to put it all together. However I did save virtually any type of descriptive mission statement that piqued my interest. I used Evernote to save all my notes.

3. I didn’t do this initially, but think it is a great tool for people to help shape their thoughts and key passions, desires and wants.

4. This is by far the most important step. This takes time and for most lots of it. For me personally it took about 4 edits and revisions, which happened over about 4 months. (Remember I didn’t plan specific time for this) However one benefit of me taking so long is that I had more exposure to other creative ideas, experiences, etc.  Going forward I have now created a yearly reminder to review my OSM. If nothing else to serve as a good reminder of what God has called me to do.

So, with all that said please share your OSM and/or your Covey Mission Statement. I love reading the “mission” of others.

Part C

Example of my results form the Stephen Covey Tool

For kicks, I copied my mission statement as generated by the Covey tool.  I left it in its unedited form so you have an idea of the “product” and what kind of information you would receive and have to edit.

I am at my best when asking questions creating big picture.

I will try to prevent times when i have to be social admin work.

I will enjoy my work by finding employment where I can plan organize lead.

I will find enjoyment in my personal life through read, play sports and spend time anywhere tropical .

I will find opportunities to use my natural talents and gifts such as decision making, planning and leadership.

I can do anything I set my mind to. I will help consult and equip Christ following organizations on how to better lead and make tangible differences in society..

My life’s journey is about Jesus Christ and creating environments for people to choose to follow or deny Him.

I will be a person who Darren was authentic, real and influenced millions for Christ..

My most important future contribution to others will be That they are strong followers of Jesus Christ and strong leaders who influence others.

I will stop procrastinating and start working on:

• spending more time with my family and kids
• to expand our life experience by living internationally for at least some time

I will strive to incorporate the following attributes into my life:

• Leader
• Wisdom
• Discerning

I will constantly renew myself by focusing on the four dimensions of my life:

• work out
• scripture reading
• spend time vacationing with friends and family
• spend time reading and with friends

What would you add in the process of creating personal full blown mission statements, like the Stephen Covey one, or simple one sentence missions? If you have one, how did you create it? Also, please share what yours is.

I’ve finally written down a one sentence descriptor of God’s call on my life.

…create space for authentic relationships and transparent community through which people have the opportunity to encounter and decide how to deal with Jesus Christ.

I’m still in a slightly “tweaking” mode so, feedback?

Have you spent time to define who God has called you to be? Intuitively you most likely know what it is. I encourage you to write it out.