Want To Be Persuasive? A Tip From Benjamin Franklin
Barack Obama is considered by some as the most persuasive person currently alive. Whether he is or not I’m not sure, but persuasion and being persuasive is definitely a unique ability.
The more I read the more I realize I love books backed up by analytical research. The more I read those books, the more I am drawn and extremely intrigued by the psychology of how and why people act and how that relates to leadership and real world application. Just like Barack Obama, natural leaders are often considered to be very persuasive.
To persuade means “To induce to believe by appealing to reason or understanding. To convince.” While reading recently I found a tip on how to be persuasive as per Benjamin Franklin. What I found out was quite interesting. Namely that one doesn’t have to “convince or even appeal to reason” to be persuasive in some instances. For many of us this is good news. Let me explain.
Benjamin Franklin is considered by many to be a genius. He excelled at almost everything including being a publisher, scientist, inventor and politician to name a few. But it might be how he handled opposition, hostility from other politicians a so called enemy you could almost say that was perhaps his best “genius” moment. Like all breakthroughs it is the courage and plain old guts to approach a situation differently that produces different results. Franklin describes the situation with his political nemesis, his adversarial opposition and how he “won” him over:
I did not, however, aim at gaining his favor by paying any servile respect to him, after some time, took this other method. Having heard that he had in his library a certain very scarce and curious book, I wrote a note to him, expressing my desire of perusing that book, and requesting he would do me that favor of lending it to me for a few days. He sent it immediately, and I returned it about a week later with a note expressing my deep sense of the favour. When we met next in the House, he spoke to me (which he had never done before) and with great civility; and he ever manifested a readiness to serve me on all occasions, so that we became great friends, and our friendship continued to his death. This is another instance of the truth of an old maxim I had learned, which says, “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.”
I found this quote extremely interesting. Especially in the beginning were he says he didn’t pay him any respect (now I don’t agree with that, I think one should always be respectful) however his approach at becoming persuasive, at shifting the relationship from hostile to ally was by asking him for a favour. I think this tactic goes extremely against our natural inclinations. Example, when was the last time you asked for a favour from an “enemy” from a hostile relationship with someone with whom you never speak with. Bizarre approach, but yet it worked. So, as I mentioned earlier I love analytical research so where is the study to back this up? Well Jecker J. and Landy D. researched this in 1969 called ” Liking a person as a function of doing him a favor. (Human Relations 22:371-78)
In the study participants won some money from the experimenters. Group A was immediately asked to return the winnings because the experimenter was poor and was using his person money. (Interestingly, virtually everyone agreed to return the money, but thats for other studies) Group B was not asked anything after the experiment. Afterwards all participants were anonymously surveyed about “How much they liked the experimenter.” Amazingly, the findings proved Franklins assumption. Those who were asked to do a favour for the experimenter, even though it cost them their winnings, viewed the experimenter much more favorably than those that did not have to do any favour. Why one might ask?
Other studies show strong connections between peoples actions, their behaviours, and their attitudes. Noah Goldstein in his book on scientifically ways to be persuasive says, “People are strongly motivated to change their attitudes in ways that are consistent with their behaviour.”
There are many possible outcomes and real life applications from this study. Being a pastor who is in charge of facilitating community and creating environments for dialogue and interaction I find this study fascinating. Fascinating because “making friends” resolving perceived conflict or hostile opposition is perceived as such a difficult thing to do. Franklin shows us that one of the easiest ways to make a friend of an enemy, or even simply a friend, is to ask a favour of them. Often people delay asking anything of a perceived “enemy” or opposition member, or a yet unknown person because of the idea that it will make the situation worse. We will somehow be annoying the more. Politically, what are some potential implications of real world enemies? Could some issues perhaps be resolved just by asking a favour. Could it really be that simple? My gut says no, but then again have we even tried such a simple, “illogical” idea? How about hostile board members? How about in your neighbourhood or new work environment? People often find it difficult to start relationships. Instead of stressing about it next time, just ask them for a favour. Selfishly, you get help, of some sort, and the strong potential for friendship, even life long friendship as was the case with Benjamin Franklin.
Just some thoughts…what you think?
You should follow me on Twitter here
